” She stuck her tongue out at her mother.“Yeah, and he was shaped like a teddy bear, too. But oh baby, if you could have seen him back when I first met him, ooohh, Stud City!”Caroline laughed. “So, was your great sexcapade with him?”“Not hardly. Now don’t get me wrong. Harry was a great fuck, and we used to get it on morning, noon, and night, but Harry really was a one-woman man. He didn’t cotton to the idea of sharing me. No, this happened a few years after he died...”Babs sat at the vanity, nervously applying her makeup. She wasn’t at all sure that she was ready for this and was still half-convinced it was too soon after Harry’s death to go out and try to meet other men. Granted, it had been three years since his heart attack, and if time didn’t heal all wounds, it had certainly put a healthy dose of scar tissue in place.Several months ago, some friends had convinced her that forty-seven wasn’t dead, or even old, and had talked her into going to a Chippendales show with them. To her. Here I lay awake wondering about one of the most perfect blow jobs I'd ever had.What did it prove? Did it prove anything?How should I see Betty's behavior last night? Was it guilt? Or was it determination? Was it to cover up her infidelity? She never answered. She only told me she loved me.Loved me, she said. Why did that sound less like a statement and more like an incantation? It must be me.A mess it was. A pretty mess.I was way past the moment where I could ask straight away if she was cheating on me. She'd had opportunities enough to tell me and she hadn't. On the other hand, if she did not cheat, would she stay after I accused her? How could she live with the idea that I distrust her?I had to have proof."Go see what I didn't see..."I knew now that the sneaking distrust would as certainly destroy our marriage as the quick proof of her betrayal. It might be a much slower process, but probably even more painful just because of that.Last night our love had been missing. I may have.
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